A few years ago at a men’s conference (not 21 Convention, a third party event my company 21 Studios was filming) I was asked on stage what my best off-the-cuff advice to young men would be today.
One sentence or less, short and simple.
Almost instinctively, without thinking, I blurted out “Don’t be a pussy”.
This came from the heart.
I said that because I meant it, and I’m serious. Alpha males are not pussies. An “alpha male coward” is an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms, and there are no contradictions in reality.
Do not be a pussy. Being a pussy will do nothing good for your life, and will always do a lot of bad.
There is zero benefit to being a pussy, ever.
This world is a dangerous place. Our male ancestors dug us out of the dirt with the animals. Then and now we’ve been fighting to survive, individually and as a species. Fighting against each other, and against the darker side of nature.
Having alpha courage however is not an excuse to have zero risk management skills. It is alpha to be both wise and intelligent. The issue is when these traits are weaponized to excuse beta male pussy behavior in yourself.
Fear is an emotion, not your enemy. While not perfect, it is a useful tool for risk management, one factor in your decision making arsenal.
Fear can also be a counter-intuitive guide stone. Often when you are scared of doing something, it is actually a strong signal that you should do whatever it is that you are scared of.
The fear is an illusion, hiding a choice that will set you free from temporary anxiety and nervousness (that may have no basis in reality anyway).
Going for the kiss on a first date for example. If you want to do it, and you spot an opportunity for it, there’s like a 90% chance it’s a good idea, and 80% chance it will work out just fine.
Side note: it being a good idea and actually working are not the same thing. Sometimes it’s a good idea to go for it, but she’s not ready yet, and ends up kissing you later on, even ten minutes later.
Once you do this enough times - follow the alpha male instincts you were born with - you will learn the emotional pattern and find it fun, rather than intimidating and anxiety inducing.
This will be a turning point in your dating life.
Women will then clue in on this emotional pattern in you and sense your confidence and curiosity for it, leading to more success in a positive feedback loop.
She will sense your excitement for the emotional and physical experience - whether or not it works out.
Authentic alpha confidence is like crack to women, they can smell it a mile away.
They will snort that shit and fight over scraps.
Basically, interrupting the emotional experience of fear is an alpha male life hack, useful across every domain of life as a man. Women, work, leadership, relationships, friendships, family, etc.
Nothing is risk free, but alpha male freedom awaits when you stop letting fear control you.
YOU need to control you, not anyone or anything else.
Watch this clip from my keynote address The State of the Manosphere, my most alpha male speech ever and the most alpha speech in the history of the manosphere.
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