Everyone has at least a little bit of unresolved trauma in their history. However, some men have more severe trauma in their history. That could be in the form of a toxic relationship, a toxic friendship, or a severely abusive childhood. 

If you have anything tantamount to serious trauma, you need to understand it and heal it. Learn what went wrong, how it affected you at the time, and how it’s affecting you now. 

This could be something like an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife cheating, it could be domestic violence, or it could just be intense trust issues that prevent new relationships from even starting. 

One of the most common ways unresolved trauma affects us is the inability to set and hold boundaries. Toxic, dangerous personalities will sniff this out about you and exploit these weak points as soon as possible. 

The best starting point I know of to “fix” trauma is studying a concept called CPTSD, short for complex post traumatic stress disorder. 

This is a simple, revolutionary model for understanding the effects of complex trauma. This is different from conventional PTSD for major events like surviving a bad car accident, getting mugged at gun point, or surviving a literal war zone. 

CPTSD has been described by psychology guru Richard Grannon as “more like a shotgun blast of trauma” (compared to one large bullet). 

Being criminally beaten as a child by your mother or father, consistently over a fifteen year time span, would be an example of this. 

It’s not as severe as going through a literal war at 25 years old, getting your leg blown off, and watching your friend die.
But it’s still serious, it happened before you developed a comprehensive understanding of the world, and it happened consistently over time in small chunks. 

The result is CPTSD. 

What you need to do is understand the truth of what happened, confront reality, heal yourself from it, and grow stronger from that process. 

Easier said than done to be sure, and this usually takes a long time. 

If it was fast and easy everyone would do it. But as the saying goes, nothing great comes easy. 

Watch this video from Richard Grannon on CPTSD and healing from toxic relationships. 

His work changed my life and the lives of millions of other men.

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Experience the world's ultimate informational course on Complex PTSD, professionally filmed in Warsaw, Poland by 21 Studios at the request of philosopher Richard Grannon.

 Richard has helped millions of men and women on YouTube understand themselves and their best path to self-healing complex trauma. Richard is compassionate, serious, and brings a zero bullshit attitude to helping people live their best lives free from toxic relationships.